Pink chiffon, black velveteen sleeves, with pressed in pleats that crinkle when she sits. Layers of stiff netting make up the petticoat that holds the skirt just right. The front is tucked, with a rosebud made of ribbon and a "diamond" that glitters at the base of her throat. Oh, the place the pink party dress goes!
The first little girl to own the pink party dress was only six. She took the dress to a birthday party where drips of ice cream ran down the elegant tucked front. Her Mommy dabbed at the stain until it disappeared. The pink party dress played ring-around-the-roses, pinned the tail on the donkey and dropped clothespins into a glass milk bottle. Then back into her dark closet the pink party dress would go, nestled among the plain, everyday dresses, just waiting patiently for the next occasion worthy of such an elegant dress.
Thanksgiving is here and company is coming! The table is dressed with a fine lace tablecloth; and candles adorn her like the velveteen sleeves of the pink party dress. The little girl begs to wear the special dress. So, out comes the pink party dress, along with pink tights and shiny black patent leather Mary Janes.
When the little girl comes to the table she must sit up straight and act like a little lady. Put your napkin in your lap and be careful not to spill on the pink party dress. Hair all curled and tied up with a bow; but the little girl has grown and the black velveteen sleeves are getting snug. The hem barely reaches her knees. It won't be long until the beautiful pink party dress will live in another little girl's closet. The first girl loves the pink party dress so much she can't bear for it to leave.
The pink party dress didn't have to wait very long to find a new home. Another little girl lives in the same house! Though the stiff pink pleats have lost some of their crunch and the hemline of the skirt falls well below her knees, the new little girl is thrilled. Oops! She stepped in the petticoat and tore it away from the neat waistline, so now it sags below the hem. Her Momma stitches it back into place.
Off we go to a Christmas party! There are lots of little boys and girls all dressed up, but my little girl outshines them all when we walk in together! The twinkling lights sparkle bright on the Christmas tree all decorated with gleaming ornaments. We stand together to have our picture taken. Even though my rosebud is loose and has lost its diamond and my petticoat has been repaired we still look lovely by the dazzling tree!
We sit on Santa's knee and the girl whispers her wish in his ear. The jolly man gives her a peppermint stick and a wink. The sweet candy is sticky on the pink party dresses skirt. When the party is over the sleepy little girl is carried home. The pink party dress is put to soak to remove the candy stains, and then hung to dry. The pink party dress is then shut away in the dark closet, just waiting to see where they will go next.
But the next time the little girl begs to wear the pink party dress she has grown so much it won't fit anymore. Momma packs away the treasured dress with shoes and toy no longer wanted. The pink party dress is hung on a rack at the second hand store, waiting for another little girl to fall in love with it and take it home to wear to parties and special occasions.
I really liked this story when you mentioned it in class. I can see my daughter in a similar situation when she gets to be 6.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you want to end it that way? It seems that either it could be in two sentences instead of a single one. It just kind of ends and left me wondering what if another girl took it. What could happen then.
Perhaps fix the last sentence and build on the ending a bit more.
I agree with Phil, I like this story and can vividly imagine it, but I am torn at the ending. Was there a special way in which it went to the second hand store? Could you add more details to this?
ReplyDeleteI like this story and I love the perspective from which it is told.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I noticed is that the second paragraph is told in the past tense while the rest of the story seems to be in the present tense. Do you see that too?
I agree with the others. The last sentence is a bit too abrupt. Perhaps adding more there will help.
I like all the descriptive details you used. One idea - if you were to revise this, the pink party dress can remain throughout as the main character and take away the girls in the story. You did this a few times - "the pink party dress played...", "the pink party dress didn't have to wait..."
ReplyDelete